Don't Even Ask.

Have you ever had one of those days that just started off wrong? Of course you have! That's the kind of day I'm having. Sweet mercy. Let's start from the top, shall we?!

I went to sleep on the couch around 1am because I was coughing so loudly that I feared I would wake everyone else. (Yeah, thank you Stupid Cold for wearing out your welcome!) So I sat the alarm on my cell phone as back-up for Chad's alarm clock. Or so I thought...

At 6:30, Chad's cell phone begins to ring and I assume it's my alarm going off. But I was wrong. It was one of Chad's friends that he usually rides to work with. And they normally leave town at 6:00.

That's right. We overslept.

I ran to wake Chad up, pack his lunch, fix him a hot breakfast (and by that I mean heat up a Pop-Tart), and let Ali out to pee. This should've been done an hour ago.

Normally I can go back to bed after he leaves for work, but this morning... YOU GUESSED IT. Macy is wide awake before 7:00. This is the moment I realize that today just might not be too pleasant.

I normally work out on Monday-Wednesday-Friday, but I was overly exhausted by noon. "Maybe I can get Macy to take a nap," I say to myself.

Nuh-uh. It ain't happenin'. So I awaken to the reality that is today and face the facts:

Macy has therapy this afternoon, then it will be time for her to eat, then I have errands to run, and then it will be too late for her to nap because if she falls asleep at 5:00, she'll wake up in an hour and be ready to play and then I'll be ready to pull my hair out and have a good cry and I just don't have time to cry! And so on and so forth.

I know! I'll fix myself a nice big pot of coffee! Mama needs caffeine. But first I'll make Macy's lunch...

Within minutes, she consumes an entire sandwich while I fix my coffee. And then I realized that every bite I gave her was gone almost immediately. I look over to see her squishing ham and bread like Play-Doh. It's all in her hair, all over her face, in her ears, etc. As I remove the tray to her highchair, I see that half of her lunch is smashed in her lap.

Taking a deep breath, I wet some paper towels and begin to scrub her hands and pick the remains of sandwich off her pants. The remains that haven't been smeared into the fabric, of course.

And where's that coffee I was making? Oh yeah, the first pot was so weak I could see through it. So I made a second pot. I grabbed the biggest mug I own and filled it to the top, added the perfect amount of fat free french vanilla creamer, and smiled. Hallelujah!

Then as I reached over to lay my stirring spoon on the countertop, my arm caught the edge of my coffee mug. The entire cup spilled onto the countertop, ran off into the floor, dribbled down in between the cabinet and the stove, and began to sink into the grout!

YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!

As I began to tear up, my sister called and told me I must turn the TV over to Oprah. Apparently, the audience was filled with stressed out mothers. What perfect timing! So I pulled the stove out, used three dishtowels and some Clorox wipes to clean up the mess, fixed another cup of coffee, and opened up a box of Girl Scout cookies as I watched other stressed out moms vent to the entire country about how tired they were. (While my daughter was climbing all over me, grabbing my hair, and digging her toes into my thighs.)

My diet was going very well up until that point. Darn you, Thin Mints!

Isn't it amazing how the happenings of a regular day are magnified when you're tired?! But I do feel better after getting all this off my chest. And now I have to go be a good parent since I'm letting Noggin babysit my child long enough so I can write. (Thank you, Toot and Puddle!)

Don'tcha just love Mondays?!